Kids in the back seat

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

The night before Y2K...

'Taws the night before Y2K,
And all through the nation
We awaited The Bug,
The Millennium sensation.

The chips were replaced
In computers with care,
In hopes that old' Buggy
Wouldn't stop there.

While some folks could think
They were snug in their beds
Others had visions
Of dread in their heads.

And Ma with her PC,
And I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net
And kicked back with a snack.

When over the server,
There arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates
To see what was the matter.

But he was away,
So I flew like a flash
Off to my bank
To withdraw all my cash.

When what with my wandering eyes
Should I see?
My good old Mac
Looked sick to me.

The hack of all hackers
Was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be
The Y2K Bug!

His image downloaded
In no time at all,
He whistled and shouted,
Let all systems fall!

Go Intel! Go Gateway!
Now HP! Big Blue!
Everything Compaq,
And Pentium too!

All processors big,
All processors small,
Crash away! Crash away!
Crash away all!

All the controls
That planes need for their flights
All microwaves, trains
And all traffic lights.

As I drew in my breath
And was turning around,
Out through the modem,
He came with a bound.

He was covered with fur,
And slung on his back
Was a sackful of virus,
Set for attack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!
His dimples-how merry!
As midnight approached, though
Things soon became scary.

He had a broad little face
And a round little belly,
And his sack filled with virus
Quivered like jelly.

He was chubby and plump,
Perpetually grinning,
And I laughed when I saw him
Though my hard drive stopped spinning.

A wink of his eye,
And a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
A new feeling of dread.

He spoke not a word,
But went straight to his work,
He changed all the clocks,
Then turned with a jerk.

With a twitch of his nose,
And a quick little wink,
All things electronic
Soon went on the blink.

He zoomed from my system,
To the next folks on line,
He caused such a disruption,
Could this be a sign?

Then I heard him exclaim,
With a loud, hearty cry,
Happy Y2K to all,
Kiss your PCs good-bye!

After buying a used car

After buying a used car the pollock asked his wife to make sure that the
blinkers worked correctly. He got in, turned them on and asked her if they
were working. She replied, "YES NO YES NO YES,......"

Sexual request

Olga, the Danish chambermaid at the Catskill mountain hotel, was constantly being chased by Hirshberg, one of the guests. Every time he got near her, she ran away from him.

One day he grabbed the pretty Dane and whispered his sexual request in her ear.

To his amazement, she agreed to meet him in his room that night.

"If you're willing," said the man, "why did you keep running away from me?"

"Well," said the Danish girl, "all time I tink you vant extra towel!"

Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Curtis

A young West Virginian girl

A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father
said "No way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ."

Well, she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she
wrote home that she was getting married, to a man from Richmond, VA named
Clarence. Her father said "I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from
Richmond, you're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy," so he sent his two sons
to UVA to get their sister.

In a couple of days they returned. The confused father asked, "Where is your
sister?"
They replied "We were almost there Dad, but we got to this overpass with a
sign that said 'Clarence 13'6'' so we turned around and drove the hell out of
there!"

Your teeth so yellow that when you go to church...

Your teeth so yellow that when you go to church the priest said LET IT SHINE LET IS SHINE!!!!!

Q: How many running-dog

Q: How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!